(theme song)

EMMA

(narration) By the time the war began when I was fourteen, I had already come to a few conclusions. One: soulmates were bullshit. Two: The Dragon was an asshole. And finally, three: Boys were just not my thing.

Some of those conclusions were more important than others, but each and every one of them shaped me, the person I am. My soulmate’s name, “James,” may have been scrawled across the back of my right hand, but that didn’t mean I was happy about it. Tegot, devourer of men, conqueror of kingdoms, almighty dragon, and source of the soulmate magic, could just go ahead and kiss my ass.

Unfortunately, the rest of the kingdom of Pheba didn’t really share that sentiment. Instead, it wasn’t at all uncommon for me to wake up to a line of Jameses outside the palace doors, all insisting that the name “Emma” was written on their right hands and that they must be my soulmate.

I’d gone on so many soulmate quests, I couldn’t even keep track of them all. All of them were completed. None of them made the names on my hands turn gold. None of them were my soulmate.

As annoying as it was to spend days or even weeks on quests with men I didn’t care for, at least none of them stuck around. At least none of them were the prince of the kingdom of Astar.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Straighten your back, Emma.

EMMA

Yes, Mother.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Oh, buck up. This war has been going on for a decade now—much longer, and Tegot would have had all our heads.

EMMA

I know, Mother.

QUEEN VICTORIA

You’re going to be pleasant and polite to Prince James while I sign the treaty with the queen of Astar. Make small talk. Engage in deeper conversation, even. Make him like you.

EMMA

Mother-

QUEEN VICTORIA

Look, I don’t care how you treat him once you’re already on the way to see Tegot, as long as you keep him close enough to sacrifice him when the time comes.

KING LAWRENCE

Victoria! Keep your voice down!

QUEEN VICTORIA

Hush, Lawrence, they aren’t even here yet.

EMMA

Actually, I think I see their carriage.

KING LAWRENCE

You’re right, that must be them: the royalty of Astar.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Thank Tegot. I don’t want to stay in the Badlands any longer than we have to.

EMMA

But you’re okay with sending me on an entire quest here?

QUEEN VICTORIA

Stop complaining. Don’t you want the war to end?

EMMA

I don’t know how you expect me to be happy about betraying and sacrificing my potential soulmate to a dragon.

KING LAWRENCE

Girls, please, for the love of Tegot! Keep your voices down!

QUEEN VICTORIA

(hushed) Don’t pretend you suddenly care about your soulmate, Emma. We both know you’d be pleased to see the name on your right hand crossed out.

EMMA

(sigh) I don’t understand why Tegot wants a royal sacrifice in the first place.

KING LAWRENCE

Nor do we, darling, but he does. Perhaps he just wanted to see us fight over which royal family would sacrifice a loved one.

EMMA

If that’s the case, he sure got his wish.

QUEEN VICTORIA

They’re getting out of their carriage! (pause, speaking more formally) Queen Maria, Prince James. How lovely it is to see you in a time of peace.

QUEEN MARIA

It is not a time of peace quite yet, Queen Victoria. Do your servants have the treaty?

EMMA

(narration) This was the deal: since neither kingdom could decide which should make the royal sacrifice to Tegot, and since it recently came to the attention of both kingdoms that their prince and our princess shared soulmate names, Prince James and I were to go on a soulmate quest together with the intention of slaying Tegot before Tegot could rain his fury down upon us. In the meantime, our kingdoms would have a ceasefire.

Of course, that was bound to change once the kingdom of Astar realized we betrayed and sacrificed their prince.

QUEEN VICTORIA

[in the background while Jam and Emma talk] Thank you for coming all this way, your majesty.

QUEEN MARIA

[in the background] Yes, well, it was about time we put an end to this silly war, wasn’t it?

QUEEN VICTORIA

Indeed. And I was so sorry to hear of the passing of your soulmate.

KING LAWRENCE

He was a good man.

QUEEN MARIA

(bitterly, remaining cordial) How nice of you to say so.

KING LAWRENCE

Now, if you’ll just sign right here, and we’ll sign directly below…

EMMA

So. Prince James, I presume?

JAM

You sure do.

EMMA

Uh… okay. I’m Emma.

JAM

(grudgingly) Nice to meet you, Emma.

EMMA

Right. Likewise. Er, the pleasure is all mine. (pause, curiously) Why are your names covered up?

JAM

(playing dumb) Huh?

EMMA

Your hands, they’re- you’re wearing gloves. What, do you not like the font?

JAM

…Yeah. Yeah, it’s the font that I hate.

QUEEN VICTORIA

Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but the treaty has been signed. It is time for your soulmate quest to begin.

QUEEN MARIA

We are leaving you with horses and a wagon for supplies, but no guards or servants. You must do this on your own.

EMMA

Right. Defeat the near-godly dragon. On our own. (sarcastically) Would you like anything else while we’re at it?

QUEEN VICTORIA

Some respect, perhaps. Remember, Emma, the fate of our kingdoms lies in your hands.

QUEEN MARIA

And yours, James.

JAM

Hmph.

EMMA

I know, Mother.

QUEEN VICTORIA

I expect to see you back home safe and sound as soon as possible, young lady. No matter what it takes.

EMMA

(narration) And then… they left. Our parents just left us there, in the middle of the Badlands, to fend for ourselves.

I had two blades strapped to my waist. A sword for fighting monsters, and a poisoned dagger for disabling Prince James when the time came. Both felt heavier than they should have and left a bad feeling somewhere deep in my chest, nestled beneath my ribs.

James didn’t say anything as we watched our parents’ carriages be drawn away, in opposite directions. He didn’t say anything as we finally climbed atop our mounts. Every time I looked over at him, he was looking up at the sky, like he was silently praying. I thought about asking him who he was praying to, so I could pray as well.

In the end, I didn’t say a word.

(ad start)

(music plays)

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, the story was just beginning. The story of four speakers, beings granted power over the universal language, over words and the power they represent.

Meet Tabitha the Fox:

“My dear, your wits are not nearly as powerful as your beauty. Learn from this, my dear,” is what he’ll call up to the crow.

Margie the Innkeeper:

“I think you might need some help. And I really mean that like nicely, not trying to say you’re weird or anything, I think we’re all a bit kooky in this town!”

Viola the Librarian:

“No, Edward, there are no ghosts in the library. We’ve been over this many times; there are no hauntings in this library, we’re not built over a burial ground, no one died here, there are no ghosts in the library.

And Orion the Newcomer:

“I wanna give it a chance even though it’s not looking good. I’ve only spent the day in this town and I’m sure it’s better than where I came from anyways.”

As classic literature springs to life in the small town of Fox Jumps, the Speakers must learn to tell their own story.

Storybook Ending is an Actual Play Podcast using Spell the RPG by Whimsy Machine Games. Find us biweekly on Wednesdays wherever you listen to podcasts.

(soft music plays)

(ad end)

EMMA

(narration) I tried my best to make conversation, to get on his good side. I knew exactly what to say to get him wrapped around my finger.

EMMA

So… This weather, huh?

JAM

(flatly) The weather’s always the same in the Badlands. Sunny. Too hot during the day, too cold during the night.

EMMA

Right.

EMMA

(narration) Like I said. Wrapped around my finger.

EMMA

So, Tegot. I’ve heard he lives far, far south of here, in the deepest parts of the Badlands.

JAM

That’s what they say.

(silence)

EMMA

…We, uh, we need a game plan, right? I mean, how do you fight a dragon?

JAM

With weapons.

EMMA

(tentatively) Would be easier with magic.

EMMA

(narration) That was the first time he looked me in the eyes, I think, and he didn’t even fully turn his head towards me. Just glanced at me out of the corners of his eyes, made eye contact and then seemed to regret it. Still, he wasn’t frowning anymore.

JAM

If you want to piss Tegot off and get turned into a monster before we even reach his territory, be my guest. Saves me from having to go on this impossible soulmate quest.

EMMA

Maybe being a monster would be worth it. Can you imagine what it would be like, to have magic flowing through your veins?

JAM

Technically, we already do. The magic that gives us our names.

EMMA

It’s not the same. Besides, I hate my names.

JAM

(perking up a little) You do?

EMMA

I’m not really into boys.

JAM

Oh, you mean your soulmate’s name.

EMMA

What did you think I meant? My own name?

JAM

Well, don’t you think it’s stupid that we’re born with our own names on our left hands? Why does Tegot’s magic get to decide what my name will be?

EMMA

I don’t know, I… I never really saw it as a problem.

JAM

(bitterly) Of course you didn’t.

EMMA

(narration) The Badlands was a barren area, full of cliffs and chasms in the red dirt. I wasn’t really worrying about that as I tried to figure out what I’d done wrong in my conversation with James, but I started worrying about it real quick.

EMMA

Shit, look out!

EMMA

(narration) We should have been paying more attention. We’d been walking along the edge of a chasm, and we let our horses get too close to the edge; one wheel of our wagon went over the edge, and that was enough to tip us over.

We fell.

(ad start)

Hi everyone, this is JJ, the co-founder of Goodpods. If you haven’t heard of it yet, Goodpods is like Goodreads or Instagram, but for Podcasts! It’s new, it’s social, it’s different, and it’s growing really fast. There are over 2 million podcasts, and we know that it’s impossible to figure out what to listen to. On Goodpods, you follow your friends and podcasters to see what they like. That is the number one way to find new shows. You can find Goodpods on the web or on the app. Happy listening!

(ad end)

EMMA

(narration) When I next opened my eyes, it was to the sight of a small crowd of people swarming the wreckage of our wagon. I snapped into action, scrambling backwards only to run right into something—or rather, someone.

JAM

Hey! Watch it-

EMMA

(narration) James froze, then. He’d just woken up, it seemed, and he was only now taking in the strange people surrounding us.

JAM

I- I didn’t know people lived in the Badlands.

EMMA

(nervously) Neither did I.

ROELA

Hello, my friends. Are you hurt?

EMMA

Um- No, I don’t think so. Just kind of sore.

ROELA

It was not a long fall, but it was enough to break your horses’ legs. Do not worry, we will care for them.

EMMA

Oh, uh- Thanks? Where… are we?

ROELA

You are just outside the village of Fatefall.

JAM

Fatefall?

ROELA

Yes. It is one of the biggest villages in the Badlands, nestled within the winding chasms.

EMMA

Are you… stuck?

ROELA

What do you mean?

EMMA

I mean, you aren’t choosing to be here, are you?

ROELA

Everything we do here is a choice, my friend, from our names to our homes.

EMMA

(alarmed) Your names- You pick your own names?

ROELA

We are not content to let Tegot’s magic define us. The names on our hands mean nothing to my people.

JAM

(intrigued) Really? Me too! I mean- I feel that way, too.

EMMA

What- You?

JAM

Is that a problem?

EMMA

Um… I guess not, I just…

ROELA

I am Roela. What are your names, friends?

EMMA

Well, I’m Emma, and this is-

JAM

Jam.

EMMA

Jam?

JAM

That’s my name. I chose it, like Roela did.

EMMA

Huh. Can I ask… why?

JAM

Well… Since you asked. I don’t think of myself as a man.

EMMA

Oh! That’s- Okay, then. What, um, what do you think of yourself as?

JAM

I… don’t know. I feel like… Woman Lite.

EMMA

Huh?

JAM

Like, I’m definitely not a man, but I’m not quite a woman either. I… I like to be referred to as she and they.

EMMA

Weird. I mean-! Not weird, just- uh, different. I can call you Jam.

ROELA

Is that why you ventured this far into the Badlands? In order to choose for yourself?

EMMA

Well… not really? Not to my knowledge. We’re actually here on a soulmate quest to kill Tegot.

(small crowd murmurs in disbelief)

ROELA

Soulmate quest aside, killing Tegot… You cannot possibly expect to do this on your own!

EMMA

To be honest, I don’t think we can do it on our own, but our parents said we had to.

ROELA

Well, your parents are not here, are they?

JAM

That’s true. Are you offering to help?

ROELA

Perhaps I am. I can help you to navigate the chasms of the Badlands.

JAM

And our horses?

ROELA

They may recover, though certainly not any time soon. I’m afraid you will have to continue on foot. But rest assured: we Badlanders value all life, and will do everything we can to help them.

JAM

Huh. I kind of like it here!

ROELA

(wryly) So do I.

EMMA

(narration) Roela and some of the other Badlanders led us to Fatefall, inviting us to stay the night in Roela’s home. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Jam—I just kept watching her, assessing her. Wondering if they really were my soulmate, and if so, whether they would even care.

Unsurprisingly, thinking of Jam as an actual potential soulmate made the idea of killing her a little less easy to swallow. That night, we slept in the same room, on pallets of blankets on the floor.

JAM

(hushed) Emma?

EMMA

Yeah, Jam?

JAM

…Are you really gonna call me that?

EMMA

I thought you wanted me to.

JAM

I did. I do! I just- No one’s ever listened before when I asked them to refer to me differently.

EMMA

How come? It’s not all that much trouble if it’s something that makes you feel better about yourself. Or if it is, it’s worth the trouble.

JAM

Thanks for thinking that. You know how our kingdoms are about the names on our hands; as soon as they saw the name “James” on my left hand, that’s who I was to them.

EMMA

…I’ve never cared for the names.

JAM

You don’t want to go by Emma?

EMMA

No, I mean, I’m okay with being called Emma. I don’t see any reason to change it, at least. But I’ve always disagreed with my soulmate’s name. Didn’t think spending my life with a ‘James’ would suit me at all, romantically.

JAM

Right, right. Huh. I hate my name, you hate your soulmate’s name… it sure would be convenient if we actually were soulmates.

EMMA

Yeah, but I don’t see how it would change anything.

JAM

What do you mean?

EMMA

I mean, we’re still strangers, more or less. I don’t know you. Having your not-name on my right hand isn’t going to make me magically fall in love with you.

JAM

(embarrassed) Oh, I didn’t mean- Yeah, no, I agree. Soulmates are stupid.

EMMA

Tegot is stupid. That’s why we’ve got to kill him.

JAM

Well, that and the fact that he’s going to keep asking for a royal sacrifice if we don’t do something about it.

EMMA

Yeah. I guess that contributes a little bit.

JAM

(laughs) A little bit, yeah.

EMMA

Goodnight, Jam.

JAM

Goodnight, Emma.

EMMA

(narration) I didn’t sleep well that night. I kept thinking about the poisoned dagger on my person, about stabbing Jam in the back. I just couldn’t convince myself to go back to thinking of them as a nuisance, no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it was knowing something so human about her, that she hated the names as much as I did, just for a different reason.

I’d still do it, of course. I had to. There’s no way we could actually defeat Tegot, even with Roela’s help. I didn’t have a choice.

Not for the first time, that thought seemed to haunt me. When I finally fell asleep, I think I dreamed of Jam, but I couldn’t tell whether she was with me or against me. Whatever it was, the feeling of helplessness stuck with me that night and through to the morning.

When I woke up, I tried to piece together more of the dream, but the details slipped between my fingers. The only thing I was sure of was this:

Getting to choose was dangerous.

(music plays)

(ad start)

(radio static)

(clock ticking)

The year is 1907, and Korr is still at war with Vitaru. Navy Lieutenant Lel Drozdov is caught in the crosshairs of the Dragonborn fleet, stumbling upon a briefcase filled with evidence implicating his Tsar’s plot to kill his own citizens. Does he turn a blind eye? Or does he fight for what he believes in?

Tune in to the Fate of Korr wherever you can find podcasts.

(ad end)