(theme song)
FIRINN
(narration) He was once a human, like you and I.
(walking)
(knock on door)
TEGOT
Hello? Mr. Reginald? I’m here for your scrying session.
(door opens)
REGINALD
Ah, Tegot! Please, come in. I do so appreciate you doing this. Are you sure I can’t pay you?
TEGOT
I do it for free for a reason, Reginald.
REGINALD
Well, then come right this way!
(walking)
TEGOT
Have you been looking for your soulmate for long?
REGINALD
Oh, no, not long. Honestly, I’ve had such bad luck with the few people I’ve seen, that I decided I ought to just have it figured out magically!
TEGOT
I don’t blame you. If I could scry for myself, I would, but unfortunately it just doesn’t work that way.
REGINALD
Yes, yes. Right this way…
TEGOT
Into the basement?
REGINALD
That’s where I’ve set up the tea and pastries.
TEGOT
Ah. Of course. Anyhow… My magic works in a very specific way. It scans the world for the five or so people you would be most compatible with, and then assigns you one of them based on distance and language.
REGINALD
Intriguing!
(door locks)
TEGOT
I’ve tried doing multiple people at a time, but it seems that the more I do at once, the less precise the scrying is; for example, choosing from your top ten people instead of top five.
REGINALD
All very interesting.
TEGOT
Yes, I thought so too! It’s always… it’s… I thought you said you’d set some tea out.
REGINALD
I lied.
(fight sounds, magic charging)
TEGOT
Wh-What are you doing to me!?
REGINALD
Transforming you, Tegot. Remaking you, rebuilding you into something a little more malleable.
TEGOT
Stop, it- it hurts!
REGINALD
Once you have become a monster, you will have no choice but to follow me and aid me in my efforts to take over the kingdom. No one else will ever accept you, you see. No one will ever care for you as I will.
TEGOT
(pained noises) Please, stop-
REGINALD
I wonder what kind of monster you will change into? A cyclops? A dire wolf? Don’t even try to think about rebelling after the fact, because my other monsters… (slowing down, realizing in fear) my… other monsters…
TEGOT
(roars)
REGINALD
A dragon!? How- I’ve turned you into a dragon!
TEGOT
What have you done to me!?
REGINALD
I- Well, you see, Tegot, there’s no going back from this, which means you really have no choice but to stay with me and-
TEGOT
To hell with you! I will make you suffer!
(fighting, biting)
REGINALD
Aha, see!? One of your scales has come off, that means you can bleed-
TEGOT
Foolish! Foolish man!
(fighting, biting)
REGINALD
No! Please, spare me, dragon!
TEGOT
It’s too late for that, Reginald.
(chomp)
TEGOT
Yes… yes…
FIRINN
(narration) Tegot quickly learned the power that came with being a dragon—he could steal the magic of those he slaughtered. Reginald’s magic bubbled within him, but Tegot was not yet willing to use it. He freed the other monsters Reginald was keeping trapped in the basement and went back to town with them, looking for his friends.
TEGOT
Deana? Jeredee? I’ve returned, and I’ve found the missing people!
DEANA
(screams) A dragon!
TEGOT
No, no, it’s me! It’s Tegot!
DEANA
Oh god, it’s got an army of monsters!
TEGOT
What? No, these- these are the missing people! They were transformed into monsters, but they’re still-
DEANA
Guards! Guards, quickly!
(fighting)
TEGOT
Stop! Stop, please, it’s me, don’t you recognize me?
(more fighting)
DEANA
You’re a monstrosity, Tegot! Be gone from here!
TEGOT
But I- But we- You…
DEANA
Be gone!
TEGOT
Gah… Fine!
FIRINN
(narration) So Tegot ran away. At first, he simply secluded himself on the outskirts of the kingdom, hiding in a cave he eventually came to call his lair. But with time, he grew bitter. When adventurers came across him, he would kill them, first hesitantly but then without remorse. And when he felt their magic welling within him, powering him, making him stronger still…
He liked it.
He began scouring the land for powerful magic users, killing them and stealing their magics until he was nigh a god. But even then, he was alone; no one would befriend the dangerous monster.
He improved his magics for years, hoping that eventually his original scrying power could tell him his soulmate, but it never worked. In a blind rage, he destroyed what remained of his former kingdom, burning and salting the land which we now know as the Badlands.
Since he could not find an ally, he settled for ensuring that the rest of the world would suffer for what it had done to him, transforming and rejecting him, and lose the magic which had caused his transformation.
Nearly everyone had magic, because everyone lived unique lives and paved their own paths. To block the magic from reaching the humans, Tegot hatched a plan. He would spread thin his scrying power to determine a ‘soulmate,’ more or less, for every single human alive. He would use the illusion powers he picked up to print on every human’s hands their own name, predetermined by him, and their soulmate’s name. And finally, he would use another of his stolen powers—nullification—to hold back any lingering magic from everyone under the spell.
When I rejected the soulmate names, I rejected the nullification spell as well, and chose to live life without Tegot’s direction. The magic flocked to me as if it had been there all along.
But if we fight Tegot, we will end up as just another magical notch on his belt. He will only grow stronger from our defeat.
We don’t stand a chance.
EMMA
Yes, we do.
FIRINN
What?
EMMA
You said he lost a scale. You said he could bleed.
FIRINN
Well- Yes, but-
ROELA
How do you even know all of this?
FIRINN
This was the story as Tegot himself told it, long, long ago. It was passed down for many a generation in my family, no doubt losing some of its accuracy along the way. For all we know, the scale part is completely made up.
EMMA
I don’t think it is. I think we have a real shot at this.
JAM
Yeah, Emma’s right. With your magic, Ainn’s, and Roela’s, and with Emma’s swordfighting and my… My… well…
EMMA
With your smarts, Jam. You’re in charge of making the plan. Ainn can handle getting us close, Roela can take care of any wounds, and Firinn and I can go on the offensive.
JAM
Firinn, have you seen Tegot’s lair before?
FIRINN
I doubt any living being has.
JAM
We’ll have to plan on the go, then. But I really do think we can do this.
ROELA
…I’m on board. I think they’re right, Firinn.
AINN
Me too. We have to at least try!
FIRINN
No, we don’t! We could die!
EMMA
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life hiding? This could change everything. We have to try.
FIRINN
…Fine… Fine, I’ll do it.
(everyone cheers)
EMMA
(narration) After that, we all said goodbye to Baidro and his village and went on our way, more determined than ever to kill Tegot.
(ad start)
MASON
What if someone is listening to this broadcast right now? It’s not like there’s anything else to listen to in the middle of the apocalypse.
(radio static)
WILL
Hey, is this the radio person?
MASON
Uh, yeah, it’s Mason, who are-
WILL
No time, I’m in kind of a pickle right now. I’m surrounded by zombies.
MASON
Well, if you can make it to the old mall, there are a bunch of other survivors here.
(radio static)
ESME
It could be dangerous.
WILL
It’s the apocalypse; everything’s dangerous!
(radio static)
JULE
Tairam sent me up to be your next interviewee.
MASON
Aw, he does care!
JULE
He was worried you’d burn the mall down if you got bored.
(radio static)
WILL
I think I’d rather we both be stuck in the apocalypse together than see them left alone while I escaped.
(radio static)
MASON
Yearning for peace in the apocalypse, huh?
WILL
Hey, I used to be a pacifist before all this shit went down!
(radio static)
JULE
After all, what have you got to lose?
WILL
Uh, my life!?
JULE
Amateur worries.
(radio static)
NARRATOR
Listen to Apocalypse Radio wherever you get your podcasts.
MASON
Until next time, survivors!
(ad end)
EMMA
(narration) In truth, I had kind of forgotten about betraying Jam. It wasn’t until we were standing in front of Tegot’s lair that I finally remembered my mother’s plan.
JAM
Gods, this place is huge.
EMMA
I didn’t realize Tegot’s lair was in the mountain.
FIRINN
The ceilings are quite high. They have to be, to house such a large dragon…
EMMA
Hey, don’t go having second thoughts on us!
FIRINN
I know, I know. Just… thinking.
EMMA
(narration) I kept glancing over at Jam as we hesitantly stepped into the mouth of the cave. She was completely unaware of my eyes on her, focused entirely on the lair itself. I knew I was supposed to be focusing on the lair, too, but I couldn’t stop picturing my dagger in her chest, imagining the way the light in their eyes would slowly die out. It made me shudder.
JAM
(hushed) Are you okay?
EMMA
Huh? Oh, I’m- I’m fine. It’s just creepy in here, that’s all.
JAM
(doubtful) Hmm.
EMMA
(narration) The cave was damp and cold, slightly reminiscent of Firinn’s cave only much, much bigger. Magical red lights were nestled dimly between stalactites, casting eerie shadows across the way. Our footsteps echoed no matter how hard we tried to keep them quiet, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
JAM
(hushed) There he is!
EMMA
(narration) And there he was. Sleeping almost peacefully, curled up tightly with his tail near his head and his reddish scales reflecting the magical lights. I was only twice as big as his head, and his tail was longer than I was tall. All five of us froze in place, hardly daring to breathe lest we wake him.
EMMA
(hushed) What’s the plan?
JAM
(hushed) Firinn freezes him in place. We look for any weak points while he’s frozen, then have Ainn teleport you as close to him as possible. You drive your sword right into him.
EMMA
(hushed) Perfect. Firinn?
(spewing ice magic)
JAM
Awesome! Now, Ainn-
(ice cracking)
EMMA
Oh, fuck.
TEGOT
(roars)
JAM
Uh, okay, new plan! We rush him!
EMMA
Good enough for me!
TEGOT
Foolish mortals! You dare venture into my lair!?
(sword twangs)
EMMA
Holy shit! My sword just bounced right off his scales!
FIRINN
I can’t freeze him in place again, I’m not strong enough!
JAM
Try some ice spikes!
(ice magic, twangs)
FIRINN
They aren’t piercing the scales!
TEGOT
(roars, chomps)
JAM
Shit, Ainn’s down! Roela, get over here!
ROELA
I’m coming!
TEGOT
(roars)
(fire magic)
FIRINN
Agh, the flames- I can’t, we have to retreat!
TEGOT
As if I would let you leave here alive! You are mine to devour!
EMMA
(narration) Everything was going downhill alarmingly fast. My sword was useless, Firinn’s magic was easily countered, the bow and arrow we got for Ainn may as well have been a pea-shooter. I was seriously considering going through with my mother’s plan, even though my entire soul was screaming at me not to. It looked like we might die here, having angered and strengthened Tegot even further and doomed our kingdoms to another decade of war.
But then I noticed Jam. She’d been dancing around the dragon, keeping away from his fiery breath, spell bolts, and sharp teeth, but now she was whispering to the injured Ainn. They made eye contact with me and then pointed at Tegot as he roared in anger, and my eyes followed their finger to the underside of Tegot’s maw—where one single scale was missing.
JAM
Now, Ainn!
EMMA
(narration) Ainn teleported Jam to the area right underneath Tegot’s mouth, but Tegot was fast—he swiped Ainn away with one clawed paw and grasped Jam around the waist with another. She cried out in pain as he lifted her into the air, and my heart skipped one terrifying beat.
TEGOT
Halt, or the prince dies.
JAM
(panicked) We have to get magic, Emma! It doesn’t matter if I get transformed or if he just outright kills me in fury, I’m going to die anyway! We’re kind of past the point of no return here already!
FIRINN
Sounds like a plan to me!
TEGOT
I do love when my prey makes a fuss. How entertaining!
EMMA
We’re not here for your amusement!
JAM
Fuck it, I’m going for it! Firinn?
TEGOT
Do it and die.
FIRINN
Repeat after me. I reject the destiny forced upon me…
JAM
I reject-
EMMA
Wait!
EMMA
(narration) Tegot stilled, looking down at me curiously. Roela knelt by Firinn, healing his burns, as Ainn slowly picked himself up across the room. Jam looked so panicked, so desperate, so scared, and I made my choice at the same time as I made my plan.
EMMA
You win.
TEGOT
(pleased) Oh? Giving in to your inevitable death already?
EMMA
Not quite.
EMMA
(narration) I drew my dagger, the one mother sent with me for a very specific purpose. It was a ritual dagger. It was made for sacrifices.
EMMA
You’re too powerful, Tegot. I knew from the start that we wouldn’t be able to defeat you. That’s why I brought this.
JAM
Emma, what are you…?
TEGOT
(gleefully curious) Go on.
EMMA
You wanted a royal sacrifice, right?
JAM
Wait, no- Emma, please, you don’t have to do this! We can still beat him, I swear, you don’t have to- to resort to this!
EMMA
(narration) I was stepping slowly closer, moving towards Tegot with my dagger clearly in hand. He almost seemed to smile as he lowered Jam to the ground, placing his front paws on either side of her to trap her in place. When they looked up at me with tearfully wide eyes, my stomach flipped, but I knew what I was doing as I walked towards them, taking the route that passed right under Tegot’s snout.
JAM
(heartbroken) Emma, please.
TEGOT
Go on, Princess. Do what needs to be done.
EMMA
(earnestly) I intend to.
(stabbing sound)
EMMA
(narration) With a jump, I drove my dagger straight up into the underside of Tegot’s jaw, the blade sinking into the soft flesh where the scale went missing so many years ago.
TEGOT
(roars) No! What have you done?
EMMA
What I had to, Tegot. Quest complete.
EMMA
(narration) The poison visibly ran through his blood, the whites of his eyes growing irritated and red as green tinted the skin near the blade. He roared once more, falling backward in pain, and tripped over one of the many stalagmites poking up from the cave floor. When he fell, he fell directly on a much taller stalagmite, impaling himself on it cleanly.
ROELA
He’s… dead.
AINN
You did it, Emma.
EMMA
We did it. Thanks for pointing out that weak spot, Jam.
FIRINN
I can’t believe it! Tegot is dead!
EMMA
(concerned) Jam?
JAM
…Why did you have that dagger, Emma?
EMMA
(alarmed) I- I just-
JAM
Why, Emma?
EMMA
…My mother sent it with me. She wanted me to sacrifice you when we got close enough to Tegot. I’m sorry, I should have told you, I-
JAM
You kept the dagger, Emma. You had so many chances to get rid of it, to wash your hands of that plan, and yet- You kept it. Just in case, huh?
EMMA
No, Jam, I-
JAM
Gods, just- I need to be alone.
EMMA
(narration) She walked past Tegot’s body, out of sight, and my feet immediately moved to follow her, but Roela stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
ROELA
Let them go, Emma. They want to be alone.
EMMA
I know, but-
ROELA
Just wait.
EMMA
…No. No, I won’t wait. Jam deserves to know the truth.
EMMA
(narration) I followed in Jam’s footsteps, stepping around Tegot’s bleeding corpse, and found Jam sitting on a rock with her head in her hands. I walked over, stood in front of her, and took a deep breath.
EMMA
I kept the dagger because I kept telling myself I could do it.
JAM
Godsdamnit, Emma-
EMMA
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it, because you’re my friend, and I care about you, and I genuinely treasure our relationship. I like talking to you, and learning from you, and sparring with you. And if you were my soulmate, I would get it, I would finally understand what everyone’s always on about, but if you aren’t? I couldn’t care less. I’m choosing you anyway.
JAM
(surprised) Emma…
EMMA
So I’m sorry for keeping the dagger. Really, I am. But you have to know that there is not one single circumstance under which I would have used it on you.
JAM
Seeing you pull out that dagger really fucking hurt, Emma.
EMMA
I know, and I’m sorry for that. You didn’t deserve that fear. But I would never hurt you, Jam.
JAM
I… I believe you.
EMMA
(relieved) Thank you.
JAM
You’re my friend, too, y’know. I… I really care about you. I think I might love you, even. And if you’re my soulmate—Holy shit, wait. We’ve completed the quest. We can just check, it’s-
(pause)
JAM
The names… are gone.
EMMA
(surprised) They’re gone? Does that mean-
JAM
No one has a soulmate anymore. Tegot’s magic is gone, we have to decide for ourselves.
EMMA
Well, then… I’ve made my decision.
JAM
I think I’ve made mine, too.
EMMA
Jam? Will you be my partner?
JAM
Yeah, Emma. I will.
EMMA
(narration) With Tegot dead, we began our long adventure back home. But along the way, we discovered magics of our own without Tegot’s magic to stop us, and by the time we got back to Spelldrift, we’d made an even bigger decision.
EMMA
(decisively) We’re going to stay here, in the Badlands.
TENOR
What!? Are you serious!?
EMMA
You have no one to represent you, no one to send you supplies or aid. Now that Jam and I know there are actual people out here, we want to help you. Jam and Roela and I are going to represent the Badlands to our kingdoms, whether our parents like it or not.
JAM
We’ll go back to our kingdoms—together—to talk things over with everyone and reach a solution that suits us all. Then we’ll be returning to Fatefall, where Roela lives.
AINN
And me!
JAM
(laughs) And Ainn, from now on.
BAIDRO
That is… very noble of you. If you are telling the truth about representing us fairly and providing us with aid when we need it, then having you as a representative would be a major boon… but I hesitate to place all the power in a human’s hands.
EMMA
That’s why we want to make sure you stay in a place of power, Baidro. Jam and I will mostly just act as go-betweens for the various towns of the Badlands and the royalty of Pheba and Astar; you and Roela will retain full control over your settlements, as will the leaders of all the other towns in the Badlands.
JAM
You won’t be trampled or forced to conform. With your help, we’ll make sure of it.
EMMA
(narration) When we made it back home, there was plenty of push-back from our parents. They clearly hadn’t expected us to actually kill Tegot, and they were actually a bit peeved about losing the soulmate magic. They were also a bit peeved by the fact that people from all parts of the kingdoms were gaining magic just by nature of choosing for themselves, and magic was hard to control. But, slowly, they came up with laws to manage it, and eventually we reached an understanding about the Badlands. Jam and I became the official ambassadors of the Badlands, relaying Roela and Baidro’s needs to the kingdoms of Pheba and Astar, and even playing middleman between Pheba and Astar when they disagreed with each other.
Jam and I grew closer and closer, and we kept in touch with our new friends—Roela and Ainn were easy to keep around since we ended up living in the same town as them. Firinn was a little more of a challenge since he was out adventuring now that he could use his magic freely without fear of retaliation, but we still made it work.
By the time we had our new home built on the edge of the town of Fatefall, I had already come to a few conclusions about everything. One: It was okay to take some direction now and then, but ultimately, our soulmates were ours to choose. Two: Though Tegot had taken much from the people of the Badlands, he had not taken their humanity, and people were finally beginning to see that. And finally, three: Whatever Jam had going on was exactly my thing.
JAM
Oh, was it, now?
EMMA
What can I say? You’re my soft spot; my soulmate, even. By choice.
JAM
I like the sound of that.
EMMA
Me too. Soulmate magic or no, family pressure or no- Hell, no matter what, I choose freedom, and love, and you.
JAM
I choose you, too, Emma. I love you.
EMMA
I love you too. And that’s the story of how we became ambassadors for the Badlands, overcoming identity issues, soulmate troubles, and a literal dragon along the way.
JAM
We’re pretty badass.
EMMA
Damn right we are! And now we’re onto our next quest, but this time not for destiny’s sake—just for ours.
(music plays)
Emma and Queen Maria were played by Louisa Stabenow.
Jam was played by Killian Day.
Roela was played by Voli McCord.
Firinn was played by Carionto.
Ainn was played by Xacio.
Tegot and King Lawrence were played by Perry Hall.
Tenor was played by Marc E. W.
Baidro was played by Tyler Moody.
Reginald was played by Loxley Blaine.
Queen Victoria was played by Jackie Tretten.
Davind was played by Nathan Yeager.
Deana was played by Carla Francesca.
Written by Haven Blaine, with original soundtrack by Yana Ramos and Haven Blaine. Thank you for listening to The Soulmate Quest! We hope you’ll check out our other works.
(End.)