TAIRAM It had better be. We’ve been at this for hours.
MASON It’s not my fault I don’t know how to work a radio station!
TAIRAM You said you were a radio host.
WYNCYN They said they wanted to be a radio host.
MASON Thank you, Wyncyn. The details are important.
TAIRAM (sighs) Clearly. Well, if this helps morale like you think it will, maybe it was worth it.
MASON Here’s hoping! Plus, maybe it will attract survivors to the mall.
TAIRAM We aren’t looking for friends, Mason.
MASON Oh, come on. If someone’s out there, it’s our duty to help them, right?
TAIRAM No, it’s not. My duty is to watch over the little crew we have here already. That’s enough stress as it is.
MASON I guess I wouldn’t know.
TAIRAM …Have fun, Mason. And please don’t distract Wyncyn too much.
MASON Yes, sir!
WYNCYN (quietly) You’re gonna distract me, right?
MASON Absolutely.
Scene
MASON And that’s Xander’s beautiful poem. He is so small, and yet his vocabulary so… medium. For real, though, wasn’t that adorable? It’s- Wait.
(pause)
MASON There’s someone in the parking lot! Daethie, you hearing this? They look like they’re in trouble, there’s a horde following them.
(pause)
MASON There she is, she must be listening. Maybe I should go help in case the stranger is hurt… (crutches clatter to the ground) Oh, goddammit, crutches… Alright, uh, signing off!
Sce3
(door creaks open)
ESME Um… hello?
MASON Oh hey, you’re awake! How are you feeling?
ESME Better! Mrs. Wilder said I should go properly meet everyone, since I might be here for a while.
MASON Tairam’s letting you stay?
ESME He’s… not sure yet. But, um, I think Scout is growing on him!
MASON D’awww! Scout’s your dog, this little guy?
ESME Yep! And I’m Esme, I use they/them.
MASON So do I! I’m Mason. I don’t do much around here, other than run the radio station.
ESME Oh, I don’t know. The way I heard it, you were the one who sent Daethie out to rescue me.
MASON I guess I do keep watch from up here. Got this big ol’ window to look through.
ESME Right. Why is there a window in the recording room?
MASON Great question, Esme, and one I do not have the answer to.
ESME (laughs) Okay. Well, I’d better go make my case to Tairam again.
MASON I’ll come with you! I can be your backup set of puppy dog eyes.
ESME I appreciate the help.
Scene 4
MASON … I think everyone’s asleep. So, it’s scream-into-the-void time. I guess.
(pause) I can’t believe Tairam is letting me do this. Maybe he sees the worth in it after taking in Esme… Or maybe that’s just one more reason for him to shut this broadcast down.
I don’t know. Tairam’s not like this, but- I keep feeling like I’m gonna get dropped from the group, like I’m not doing enough to help out. It’s silly. Tairam wouldn’t do that. Mrs. Wilder would kill him.
But I still…
(sigh) Maybe I should just be grateful that I’ve even made it this far. A disabled person in the apocalypse? Recipe for disaster. Recipe for a useless zombie.
Or maybe zombie-me would be better, faster. I guess they wouldn’t care about the pain. Hell, maybe they wouldn’t even feel it. Do zombies feel pain? Yowch.
…I think I’m deflecting. Not that it matters; this is just me getting my thoughts out, venting to the void so I don’t explode and say some of this bullshit out loud on accident. God, that would be awful. They’d probably all pity me, and… and then what? Either they’d keep me around out of pity, or they’d realize how useless I am and finally kick me out and-
(door opens)
TAIRAM Stop talking, Mason.
MASON Oh fuck.
(chair scoots)
TAIRAM I don’t care that you can’t do what everyone else can.
MASON I’m sorry, I didn’t know you listened to the station, or that you were even awake, I-
TAIRAM I dislike this whole… thing because it can be distracting for the others sometimes, not because it’s useless. It isn’t. It keeps morale up, it saved Esme’s life. It gives you something to do.
MASON I don’t need special treatment, I can entertain myself in other ways-
TAIRAM But this way you’re helping people while you do it. You’re part of the camp, Mason. You belong here.
MASON Tairam…
TAIRAM Keep running your little show, and playing your silly music. You are worth keeping around. Don’t let me catch you saying otherwise ever again, got it?
MASON (softly) Got it.
(chair scoots, footsteps walking away, door opens)
TAIRAM … I like rock, by the way. And I do listen sometimes, when I stay up late.
(door closes)
MASON (soft laugh) I guess I’m switching up our song roster for the evenings. We must have some rock music hidden around here somewhere…
Scene 5
WILL We shouldn’t have come out here.
MASON I’m beginning to see that now.
WILL Maybe if we back away slowly…
MASON What do you mean, ‘back away’? We’re surrounded.
WILL Hmm. Maybe it’s time to put those skills we were practicing to use.
MASON I don’t know, I’ve only gone to one of Daethie’s classes, and sparring with you isn’t exactly on par with battling eight zombies.
WILL We don’t have to battle eight zombies, we have to get past eight zombies. You have your crutches, I have my bat.
MASON …Okay. You lead.
WILL On it.
[running, hitting]
MASON Shit-
WILL Mason!?
MASON Not a bite, not a bite, don’t worry! Keep going!
WILL You don’t have to tell me twice!
[running, hitting, doors open and then slam shut. muffled growling from the zombies outside]
MASON We are in so much trouble.
WILL What do you mean? They can’t get through the doors, can they?
MASON No, I mean with Tairam. We are screwed.
WILL Hey, we made it out alive. That’s something, right?
MASON Next time, we’re sparring in the food court. Forget sunshine and fresh air, it’s overrated anyway.
WILL I don’t know, it was pretty nice until the zombies snuck up on us. How the hell did we let that happen?
MASON We were really into our sparring. Daethie would have been proud.
WILL I kind of doubt that, given what actually happened. Wait, hey, you got hurt out there! Are you okay?
MASON I’m fine! It’s okay, Will, I’m fine. Just a scratch.
WILL We should get it cleaned just in case.
MASON Yeah, yeah.
[footsteps]
DAETHIE There you guys are! We’ve been looking all over for you!
MASON We were sparring.
DAETHIE (surprised but pleased) Oh, good for you.
WILL Outside.
DAETHIE What!?
MASON I guess I got it into my head that the zombies weren’t as much of a problem after you and Tairam took out that horde the other day.
DAETHIE The horde made you less afraid of zombies?
MASON My mind works in mysterious ways, Daethie.
DAETHIE Sure. Are you okay? I’m hearing a lot of zombies outside…
MASON They were no match for Will’s baseball expertise-
WILL I’ve never played baseball.
MASON -and my masterful cane-wielding. (sarcastically) You know, as a disabled person, I’m kind of an inspiration, and-
WILL Mason got hurt.
MASON Will!
DAETHIE Mason! Is it a bite?
MASON No, no. Just a scratch. God, I need to sit down.
WILL Shit, are you sure it’s just a scratch?
MASON I’m positive, Will. I just—sparring and then sprinting really took it out of me. I might be in bed for the next few days.
WILL (relieved) Oh, okay. In that case, I can provide room service.
[walking down the hall]
MASON Oh? My steward in shining armor?
WILL Will ‘your steward in dirty denim’ do?
MASON We all have to make sacrifices during the zombie apocalypse.
DAETHIE (playfully) Jesus Christ, can you stop flirting for two minutes?
MASON (embarrassed) We- We weren’t-!
WILL That’s- That wasn’t flirting. (innocently) What even is flirting? I’ve never heard of it.
DAETHIE (laughs) If you’re going to play dumb, don’t play that dumb. Besides, we all know you two have something going on.
WILL We do not! We are… feeling things out.
MASON We’re friends. Friends with feelings.
DAETHIE (amused) Friends with feelings.
MASON Can we just hurry up and clean this scratch so I can go lay down?
DAETHIE I didn’t think you’d want to walk very fast.
MASON …Carry me.
DAETHIE Ha! Nice try.
MASON Will?
WILL I’m considering it.
DAETHIE As nice as that is, Will, I think it’s best if you two just take a break here at that table while I go and fetch the first aid supplies. I’ll be quick, Mason, and when you’re ready we can walk you back to the barracks, or the radio room if you want.
MASON Thanks, Daethie.
[Daethie walks away, Mason and Will sit down]
WILL … I wasn’t flirting. I swear. I know you want to take things slowly, and-
MASON I’m okay with flirting, Will. Flirting is fun. Especially with you.
WILL Oh. That’s- Good. Cool. …You’re sure you’re okay?
MASON I will be. Promise.
(music plays) Thank you for listening to Apocalypse Radio, and we hope you enjoyed this bonus episode! We’re excited to be bringing you season 2 in March. Before then though, we will be bringing you a feed drop for a very cool show that’s pretty similar to this one that I think you guys might like! See you in Season 2. Until next time, Survivors!
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