VAL

So. I assume you guys know each other’s identities?

JUDE

Uh… Yeah! Obviously. We’re very close.

VAL

Oh, good. Well, I’m going to need you guys to fill out some paperwork about your relationship… Here, take this.

APOLLO

That is a big stack of paperwork.

VAL

Yeah, well, it’s a big fucking change you’re undergoing, here. Can you have this done by Friday?

APOLLO

Like, the 13th?

VAL

No, the 6th.

JUDE

But that’s tomorrow!

APOLLO

Are you trying to scare me away?

VAL

Maybe. Can you get it done or not?

JUDE

Val, I have a patrol tonight.

VAL

(long sigh) Okay, okay. I’ll get Double Trouble to cover your patrol, you can have the night off. Get it done, okay?

JUDE

Will do!

(Val walks away)

APOLLO

God, this tower is impressive. I’ve never been inside before.

JUDE

Heh, yeah. The governor really likes to showcase the fact that Houridge is the home of some of the biggest heroes in the state. So… he allocates so much funding towards keeping the tower all shiny and intimidating.

APOLLO

(bitterly) That funding could have gone towards city infrastructure instead. A shiny tower has no use to the citizens.

JUDE

I know. Val knows, too. But the governor is… hard to reason with.

APOLLO

Hmm. Well, I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to.

JUDE

You’ll have to get used to it eventually, this is where we hold all our meetings.

APOLLO

Whatever, that’s a problem for Later-Me. I know a place we can relax while we fill out this stupid paperwork.

JUDE

(hesitantly) Um… by all means, lead the way.

-SCENE CUT 1-

(door bell jingles, Solis and Apollo walk into The Cat’s Meow)

NEVAEH

(quietly) Mother. Fucker.

APOLLO

Welcome to The Cat’s Meow, Solis. Houridge’s local cat cafe.

JUDE

Oh, I- Yeah, I know this place too!

APOLLO

Oh, good. Come on, we can commandeer the back room.

(walking past people, cats meow and people whisper to each other in awe. Door opens and closes)

APOLLO

Alright, let’s take a look at this damn paperwork.

(chairs scooting)

JUDE

Names. Um.

APOLLO

“Mosaic.”

JUDE

It’s… Do you think we should know each other’s identities? I mean, if you’re really changing, then-

APOLLO

No. I mean- Sorry, no. Not now. Maybe later. Definitely later.

JUDE

…Okay. I’ll just put down “Solis and Mosaic,” then. Um, next question! Powers?

APOLLO

Surely they already have this on file somewhere.

JUDE

They like to double-check these things. Um, I- I- I don’t have a power. I just use gadgets.

APOLLO

Yeah, I know. And my power is stained glass. Walls, shards, platforms, etcetera. How detailed do we have to be here?

JUDE

I’m sure that’s plenty. Okay, uh… When did we get together?

APOLLO

I think I said a few weeks ago, right? How about… December 19th.

JUDE

That works for me. Do we know each other’s identities? We already lied and said yes. Um… Let’s see here…

(catfe sounds get louder, swap to Nevaeh and Mariangel)

NEVAEH

Jude is fucking late again. 🙄

MARIANGEL

Ohhhh, that’s- Aha, ey’re probably, um… Ey probably slept in?

NEVAEH

Right. If ey weren’t such a stellar employee otherwise, I would have fired em by now.

MARIANGEL

Aw, come on, you love em!

NEVAEH

Something like that. What was your name, again? Marianne?

MARIANGEL

Mariangel.

NEVAEH

Mariangel, cool. I’m Nevaeh.

MARIANGEL

I know that. I come here a lot.

NEVAEH

Oh, sorry. I see a lot of customers every day.

MARIANGEL

I know! (laughs) Don’t worry, I don’t hold it against you. Could I just have a large oat milk caramel macchiato extra hot with whipped cream?

NEVAEH

Jesus. Yeah, okay.

(Solis and Mosaic walk out of the back room)

JUDE

Thank you for allowing us to use your employee area, Citizen!

NEVAEH

Yeah, yeah.

APOLLO

I’m… gonna leave out the back, actually.

JUDE

Right! And I, um. I’ll just. Leave, also! Bye!

(they leave the building, front door bell jingles as Solis walks through)

NEVAEH

Can’t believe this shit.

MARIANGEL

I’m sure Jude will be here soon.

NEVAEH

Ey’d better be. Did you want extra caramel in that macchiato?

MARIANGEL

(gasp) You do remember me!

NEVAEH

A little bit. Though it’s usually Jude handling your orders. Have you known each other long?

MARIANGEL

Oh yeah, we’ve been best friends for ages now.

(cat meows)

MARIANGEL

Awwww! Adorable- (sneezes)

NEVAEH

(amused) Are you allergic to cats?

MARIANGEL

Maybe…

(door bell jingles as Jude runs in)

JUDE

I’m so sorry I’m late, Nevaeh!

(employee door opens as Apollo walks in)

APOLLO

Hey, Nevaeh.

NEVAEH

I can’t even be mad at you right now, Jude, because my dumbass brother needs a goddamn talking to! 😤 Just tend the register while we talk in the back.

JUDE

Okay! On it!

MARIANGEL

Oh, nice officially meeting you!

NEVAEH

Sure thing. Apollo, come with me.

APOLLO

Oh boy.

(they leave through the employee only door)

JUDE

Ohhh man. I’m really digging myself a hole here, Mari.

MARIANGEL

Uh oh. What did you do this time, buddy?

JUDE

I’ll tell you after my shift.

(sounds go muffled)

NEVAEH

Okay. What the fuck, Apollo.

APOLLO

I didn’t betray you.

NEVAEH

Really? Because it seemed to me like you walked up on stage in front of the entire fucking city and revealed that you’ve been romantically involved with fucking Solis of all people for several weeks!

APOLLO

No, it was only a few weeks.

NEVAEH

Apollo! Are you hearing yourself right now? How is that not a betrayal to me and the other Vindicators?

APOLLO

I’m lying, Nevaeh. 🙄 I’m not actually dating Solis, and I’m not actually changing to the side of good. I’m just taking advantage of Solis’ forgiving nature to infiltrate the Paragons.

NEVAEH

How the hell does that justify holding Solis’ hand.

APOLLO

It’s the only way the other Paragons would believe me! Solis knows the relationship is fake, they agreed to help me out because they think I’m telling the truth about changing for the better.

NEVAEH

God, this is so stupid. I can’t believe you’re doing this.

APOLLO

It was a bit of an impulse decision.

NEVAEH

Yeah, no shit. But what’s done is done, so… (groans) Whatever. Come fight me tomorrow, we’ll make your ‘repentance’ look realistic.

APOLLO

Yes! Thank you, Nevaeh.

NEVAEH

You owe me, though. Big time.

APOLLO

I wouldn’t expect anything less.

-SCENE CUT 2-

JUDE

I told him we could fake date, Mari. I… (groans) Why am I like this.

MARIANGEL

(fondly) Oh, Jude. You’re such a dumbass.

JUDE

Not helping!

MARIANGEL

(sigh) Isn’t this the villain you’ve been crushing on for years now?

JUDE

Yes! And I’ve always wanted him to turn to the side of good, and now he finally is, but to do it, he’s gotta pretend to date me. And I just… god, it hurts. It hurts so good, Mari.

MARIANGEL

Consider this: Seduce him!

JUDE

What!?

MARIANGEL

Show Mosaic what a fantastic partner you can be! Make him fall in love with you for real.

JUDE

If he hasn’t fallen in love with me in the last three years, he won’t fall in love with me now.

MARIANGEL

He wasn’t a hero before! You were diametrically opposed. Now you’re not.

JUDE

I… guess that’s a good point.

MARIANGEL

It is. You’re a catch, Jude, Mosaic just doesn’t know it yet.

JUDE

Thanks, Mariangel.

MARIANGEL

Hey, anytime.

JUDE

By the way, you have got to stop coming by the catfe.

MARIANGEL

But my best friend works there! And the cats are so cute! 🥺

JUDE

Yeah, and you can’t even enjoy them fully because you’re zonked out of your mind on antihistamines.

MARIANGEL

A worthy sacrifice.

JUDE

(sigh) (fondly) Thanks for supporting me, Mari. It means a lot.

MARIANGEL

Of course, Jude. Love you!

JUDE

Love you, too.