[Scene 1]

(walking down the hallway)

DEAN INVIDUS

You’re going to love it here, January.

JAN

It’s Jan.

DEAN INVIDUS

Sure, sure. Varora is nothing like Aecrox; we have beautiful scenery, warm weather-

JAN

I’m an ice genasi. You’re an ice genie. Why would we want warmer weather?

DEAN INVIDUS

I’m just trying to help you find the bright side of this move to Varora.

JAN

And you thought ‘warm weather’ was the silver lining I’d been looking for?

DEAN INVIDUS

(annoyed) Look, January-

JAN

Jan.

DEAN INVIDUS

Jan. Varora is not so bad. I know you’re missing your mother, but you’ll make new friends here at the School of Many.

JAN

Doubt it.

DEAN INVIDUS

Really, I’m certain. In fact, I have a feeling you’ll be finding a good friend at the orientation…

JAN

…Why do you say that?

DEAN INVIDUS

Oh, you know. Just a feeling.

JAN

(accusing) You paid someone to be my friend, didn’t you?

DEAN INVIDUS

Not paid! I simply… offered them a class credit.

JAN

An entire class credit!?

DEAN INVIDUS

It was… difficult to convince someone to…

JAN

Tolerate me. Right, of course.

DEAN INVIDUS

(sigh) Come on, sweetheart. The orientation starts soon.

JAN

Don’t call me sweetheart, Ikalis.

DEAN INVIDUS

Can’t you just call me ‘Dad?’

JAN

No. Now hurry up, I don’t want to walk in at the same time as you.

DEAN INVIDUS

If you insist.

(doors open, loud chatter appears then slowly fades out)

[Scene 2]

(snoring)

(Fire roars, people scream in the distance)

(Ida wakes up with a start)

IDA

(gasps) Gods… just… another dream. That’s all.

(pause)

IDA

Shit. I’m late for orientation.

[Scene 3]

(“Welcome!” plays)

DEAN INVIDUS

Welcome to the town of

Bellbreak, we are pleased to

Have you and we hope you’ll

Stay

Welcome to the School of

Many, if you sit a while

You will learn our ways

Rule One: Keep your magic

Tethered to your morals

Rule Two: Keep your fear at bay

Rule Three: Know the path you walk,

And don’t stray.

JAN

[spoken] (grumbles) That’s stupid. “Don’t be an asshole”? Fine. “Don’t be afraid?” Whatever. “Don’t color outside the lines?” What the fuck?

DEAN INVIDUS

[spoken] That isn’t what it means, January. Students, perhaps I haven’t been clear… (clears throat) Allow me to try again.

JAN

[spoken] Oh no.

DEAN INVIDUS

Welcome! I am Dean Invidus

I will answer questions

With the lore you seek

Dorms are to the west and

Classes to the east and

North is our beloved Tree

Rule One: Do not flaunt your

Magic, don’t be cruel, and

Rule Two: Keep your mind fear-free

Rule Three: You are nothing special

We all bleed!

JAN

[spoken] Good gods.

(students murmuring in concern)

DEAN INVIDUS

[spoken] I’m just saying that, well,

Everyone believes they’re made for greatness

And that’s fair

But we all breathe the same air

JAN

[spoken] No, no, because now you’re spewing this bullshit about everyone being equal, and that’s fine, but BEFORE that, you were saying some shit like “Don’t try to be something you aren’t.”

DEAN INVIDUS

[spoken] Well, exactly! Don’t try to be something you aren’t.

JAN

[spoken] (frustrated) No, but you said it like we’re all just set in stone, like we don’t get to choose, like-

DEAN INVIDUS

[spoken] (laughs, exasperated) My daughter, everyone!

(students murmur in excitement, Jan gasps in horror)

JAN

[spoken] Shit… shit! I- Fuck this, I’m out!

DEAN INVIDUS

Welcome!

(song ends)

(Jan runs away, leaving the school)

JAN

(panting) Gods… Can’t believe he…

(Jan bumps into Ida, who was running towards the school)

JAN

(grunts)

IDA

Oof- Sorry, my bad. I’m… late.

JAN

For orientation? Yeah, you are.

IDA

…Are you okay? You look… Bad.

JAN

Wow, thanks.

IDA

That’s not what I meant. It just looks like you could use a friend.

JAN

….My father’s the Dean.

IDA

Oh. Rough.

JAN

Tell me about it. And he just announced it in front of the entire school at orientation.

IDA

Eh. Hardly anyone other than freshman attend that thing anyway.

JAN

Yeah, well, I’m a freshman, and now all the others are going to hate me.

IDA

Huh. Well, I’m a sophomore, and I hold no such grudge.

JAN

Then why were you going to orientation?

IDA

(lying) I… like to keep up to date with things.

JAN

Right.

(pause)

IDA

You know, I used to be a druid.

JAN

So?

IDA

(snorts) So, this tree has always felt… weird to me. But I guess that makes sense, since it’s the so-called “Tree of Life.”

JAN

What, you don’t believe the stories?

IDA

That some old guy activated the magic inside it and then drank from the waters and was granted eternal life? No, I don’t.

JAN

… I guess I don’t either. It doesn’t look like a Tree of Life—it looks like it’s sick.

IDA

Uh, maybe don’t touch it-

(magic sparks, ice freezes over the lake)

JAN

(thinking) Well, shit. Here I go again. So much for not holding a grudge.

IDA

Aw, it’s not a big deal. Here, we can break the ice, eh?

(sound of ice breaking)

JAN

(unamused) Ha ha, very funny- Wait. What?

IDA

I said- Uh, break the ice-

JAN

No, that’s-

JAN

(thinking) I’m being ridiculous. They can’t hear my thoughts.

IDA

Of course I can’t.

JAN

Then how the hell did you hear that!?

IDA

I- Oh.

IDA

(thinking) Every day, a shiny new problem.

JAN

(aloud) Tell me about it.

IDA

…Yeah, okay, that’s weird.

JAN

(thinking) Can you hear this?

IDA

I think we’re past that. Yes, I can hear it. We’re… reading each other’s minds.

JAN

How are you being so cool about this!?

IDA

Eh. I’ve seen weirder. This place is… strange, to say the least.

JAN

Right. Okay, so- Do you think it’s everyone’s minds that we can read? Or- Can other people read our minds? Or is it just us?

IDA

Wanna find out?

JAN

…Yeah.

IDA

Let’s head to the orientation, then. We can test it on some unsuspecting freshman.

JAN

It sounds bad when you say it like that.

IDA

Well then let’s just hope we’re wrong and there’s nothing to test.

[sounds of a crowd fade back in]

IDA

Oh, actually… Hey, Dean!

DEAN INVIDUS

Ah, Miregrowth. I see you’ve met January.

IDA

Oh, uh- sort of.

JAN

(thinking) It’s Jan, actually.

IDA

(thinking) I’m Ida. Nice to meet you, despite the weird circumstances.

DEAN INVIDUS

Ahem… Did you need something?

JAN

We just… wanted to ask you some questions.

DEAN INVIDUS

Sure, go right on ahead.

IDA

(thinking) Can you hear this?

(silence)

DEAN INVIDUS

So, the questions…?

IDA

(thinking) Well, that answers that.

JAN

Actually, it’s nothing. Sorry, Ikalis.

DEAN INVIDUS

Please, you can call me-

JAN

No. Let’s go, Ida.

IDA

Lead the way.

JAN

(thinking) I… don’t actually know many places around here.

IDA

(thinking) There’s a coffee shop on campus. We can go there.

JAN

Sounds good.

(They walk away)

DEAN INVIDUS

(muttering) Such weird kids…

[Scene 4]

(“Green Tea and a Cold Brew” plays)

IDA

I’ll have some orange jasmine green tea

JAN

I’ll have a cup of your cold brew

BARISTA

Is that together?

IDA

Might as well be.

JAN

Wait, I’ll pay-

IDA

But-

JAN

I want to.

IDA

So, what do you do for fun?

JAN

I wouldn’t know.

IDA

No, like, what do you do in your spare time?

JAN

I shovel snow…?

IDA

Oh, right, you moved here from Aecrox.

JAN

I miss it but Varora’s not bad.

IDA

I’ll make sure that you have a good time.

IDA

I’ll have some orange jasmine green tea

JAN

I’ll have a cup of your cold brew

BARISTA

Is that together?

IDA

Yeah, It’s on me.

JAN

Are you sure?

IDA

Yeah, I want to.

JAN

Hey, thanks for being so cool.

IDA

Don’t mention it.

JAN

But, seriously, being my friend-

IDA

I’m a perfect fit!

JAN

I still feel like I should warn you.

IDA

I don’t need any warning for this.

JAN

Yeah, well, if you insist… I’m glad to have you.

JAN

I’ll try some orange jasmine green tea.

IDA

I’ll try a cup of your cold brew.

JAN

Think you’ll like it?

IDA

Might as well see.

JAN

I’m glad you’re here.

IDA

Yeah, I am too.

JAN

We keep running into each other.

IDA

But I don’t mind. Do you?

JAN

No! I’m happy just to have you around.

IDA

I’m happy too. I like being your friend, Jan.

JAN

Well, tell me, how’s the cup of cold brew?

IDA

Better than I expected.

JAN

Mine too.

(song end)

JAN

I’ve… This is maybe too much to tell you after just one week. But… I’ve never had a real friend before, so… this means a lot to me, that you’re willing to… oh, I don’t know..

IDA

No, I- I get it. I meant it when I said I like being your friend, Jan.

JAN

…Thanks, Ida.

IDA

Come on, we should hurry up and get to class.

JAN

It’s really nice that we’re taking mostly the same ones.

IDA

Yeah, it’s… really convenient.

[Scene 5]

(Jan is walking down the hall towards the Dean’s office)

IDA

(distantly) Yeah, she’s been doing fine all week.

(Jan’s walking slows)

DEAN INVIDUS

That’s good. I appreciate you doing this.

IDA

It’s really not a big deal.

DEAN INVIDUS

Yes, it is. And as for your class credit… I’ll mark it at the end of the semester.

IDA

Cool.

DEAN INVIDUS

Really, Mx. Miregrowth, I don’t believe I could have chosen a better person to watch over my daughter.

IDA

Oh, I don’t know about that-

JAN

(thinking) What. The Fuck.

IDA

(alarmed) Jan?

DEAN INVIDUS

Yes, Jan-

IDA

No, I-

IDA

(thinking) Jan, are you-?

JAN

(thinking) Fuck right off, Miregrowth.

IDA

Wait!

(The door opens, Ida runs out to talk to Jan.)

DEAN INVIDUS

Ohhhhh. I’d… better go.

(“Exactly What You Think” plays)

IDA

This isn’t what you think it is.

JAN

Yeah? Tell me what I think it is.

IDA

I swear on every god I know-

JAN

Like that means anything.

I can’t believe I trusted you.

IDA

Can you trust me when I say the truth:

I didn’t think it mattered much.

JAN

And that says everything.

I thought we were genuinely friends. I guess

I should have thought twice.

I had the gall to think our friendship was invaluable,

Turns out it had a price.

IDA

[spoken] Jan, it wasn’t-

JAN

What I thought was “liking me for me”

Was babysitting, actually.

And now you’re gonna lie to me

And say it’s alright.

IDA

[spoken] Jan, I didn’t think-

JAN

[spoken] I know you didn’t.

(song end)

(she starts walking away)

IDA

Jan!

[Scene 6]

(night ambience)

(Ida knocks on the door. Dean Invidus opens it from the other side.)

DEAN INVIDUS

Yes? Oh, Mx. Miregrowth…

IDA

I’m here to see Jan.

DEAN INVIDUS

I’m afraid I don’t allow boys over at night.

IDA

What? She’s a grown woman.

DEAN INVIDUS

My house, my rules. No boys allowed.

IDA

Okay, well, I’m not a boy.

DEAN INVIDUS

No girls allowed either…?

IDA

You know I’m not a girl.

DEAN INVIDUS

…I don’t have a protocol for this.

IDA

Great, thanks. Where’s Jan?

(Ida enters the house, Dean Invidus grudgingly follows them.)

DEAN INVIDUS

(sigh) She’s upstairs.

IDA

Thanks.

(walking up the stairs, knocking on Jan’s bedroom door)

IDA

(gently) Jan?

JAN

(thinking) Go away, Ida.

IDA

Can I come in? Please?

JAN

(thinking) …Why? Did Ikalis send you?

IDA

No. He tried to keep me away, actually.

JAN

(thinking) …You can come in.

(door opens, Ida walks inside)

IDA

…Hey.

JAN

(thinking) Hey.

IDA

I… You weren’t at the coffee shop today.

JAN

(thinking) Yeah, no shit. I lost my reason for going.

IDA

Oh. I… Jan, I’m…

(“Start With” plays)

IDA

Maybe I should start with “sorry.”

JAN

Maybe that’d be for the best.

But on the other hand,

If I get rid of my enemies, what’s left?

IDA

So I should totally start with “sorry.”

Seems like you spiral when you’re alone.

JAN

Maybe you should stop that “noticing”

Thing you do

I think I’m fine on my own

IDA

I’m sorry.

I didn’t think ahead.

I tried to be your friend

But hurt you instead

It wasn’t intentional

It was stupid, at best

But Jan, I am sorry

You didn’t deserve that.

JAN

I guess I’m glad you’re saying sorry

And I guess I’m sorry, too

After all, you won’t get that credit

And it clearly mattered to you

IDA

Jan, I’m sorry.

But not because “I failed”

I like you.

I wouldn’t have just bailed

I only accepted his offer

Because I didn’t know you

And that was still wrong

But oh gods, if I’d known you…

IDA

I brought an orange jasmine green tea and a cold brew.

JAN

Which one’s for me?

IDA

Well, whichever one you choose.

JAN

[spoken] Huh… Thanks.

IDA

So, moving on from “sorry”

I wanna start again

Hi, my name is Ida,

I like you and I wanna be your friend.

JAN

I wanna stay mad.

But being angry’s tough

And being alone

Is really fucking rough.

So if you’re sorry

I guess it’s safe to say

I liked being your friend

And I wanna keep it that way

Thanks for the orange jasmine green tea.

IDA

And the cold brew?

JAN

Come in and sit down, that’s for you.

Hey, I’m glad you came to see me

IDA

I’m glad you heard me out.

JAN

Uni’s better with a friend,

And I’m better when you’re here with me, no doubt.

(song ends)

(silence)

IDA

Well, this got awkward fast. I was kind of hoping we were past that. …I appreciate what you said, though. I think I’m better when you’re around, too.

(silence)

IDA

Can you, um. Say something?

(silence)

IDA

Okay, uh- Maybe that’s my cue to leave…?

JAN

Wait!

IDA

(uncomfortably) Oh, cool.

JAN

Sorry, I- You couldn’t hear me?

IDA

You… weren’t talking.

JAN

I was thinking.

IDA

Oh. …Oh! Wait, can you hear this?

(silence)

JAN

Uh, no.

IDA

Huh. Looks like our ‘problem’ is solved.

JAN

I… didn’t really think of it as a problem.

IDA

Yeah. Me neither. I didn’t expect you to prefer thinking over speaking, though.

JAN

I… I can’t actually talk.

IDA

…Huh?

JAN

I’m mute. I use an Interpreter spell to speak aloud what I want to say, but it only lasts for an hour, and I can only cast it five times a day. Thinking was just… easier.

IDA

Oh.

JAN

I… Does that change things?

IDA

No! I was just thinking about how we could get our telepathy back, so you wouldn’t have to cast your spell around me.

JAN

Oh, I- That’s… (warmly) Thank you, Ida.

IDA

No problem. Hey, uh, a secret for a secret: I have prophetic dreams.

JAN

You what!?

IDA

Yeah, it sucks.

JAN

So I take it they’re not good prophecies?

IDA

Not usually, but there are exceptions. For example, I knew you were going to move here.

JAN

I’m an exception?

IDA

Of course you are.

JAN

(pleased) Well. What are the non-exceptions like?

IDA

Oh, you know. A crater where the school should be. Fire, screaming. The works.

JAN

…Dude. That’s- When is it gonna happen?

IDA

Don’t know.

JAN

Well- Are you sure these dreams are prophetic?

IDA

They usually are. And I have the crater one a lot.

JAN

I… Okay. Can the future be changed?

IDA

Yeah, I’ve prevented a lot of bad stuff. Kind of sucks being a one-man army against all the weird shit that happens to this school, but like, I can’t get my degree in a crater.

JAN

Well, now you’re a two-man army. We can figure this out together.

IDA

That… sounds nice. And in the meantime- Do you know sign language?

JAN

I know Aecrolian. (excited) Why, do you?

IDA

No, but I’ll learn. For you.

JAN

I- Thank you, Ida. Really.

IDA

Don’t mention it. Heh. You’ve had one hell of a first week, haven’t you?

JAN

Not a very warm welcome.

IDA

Well, I’ll do what I can to make it up to you. Welcome to the School of Many, Jan.

JAN

I hope no other weird shit happens while we try to figure out this crater thing.

IDA

Ha! Don’t count on it.