REPORTER

And Mosaic—for those of you new to Houridge, that’s our resident supervillain, he has stained glass powers—he’s just pinned Solis to the wall with stained glass shards! Solis, can I get a word on-

JUDE

Uh, not now, Citizen, I’m kind of- (grunt) Busy- (huff) Why are you even this close to the battle!?

REPORTER

You heard it here first, folks, Mosaic is keeping Solis busy. Solis, what’s it like being the city’s main superhero?

JUDE

I’m not the main hero, and DCA is technically the leader, actually- oh Christ-

APOLLO

Get the civilians out of here before I get impatient and bury them!

JUDE

Look, Mosaic is not the kind of villain you fuck around with. Could you please just clear out so I can fight- (oof) Hey, low blow!

APOLLO

Should’ve been paying attention! Never take your eyes off the enemy.

JUDE

Who are you, Sun Tzu? 🙄

APOLLO

😒 Ha, ha. Coming through!

JUDE

Oh, shit!

REPORTER

And Mosaic has just trapped Solis behind a stained glass wall and run past—looks like Solis has broken the wall with one of their gadgets! Solis is giving chase-

APOLLO

(shouted) Do these reporters ever shut up!?

JUDE

(shouted) They’re hard-working citizens, be nice!

APOLLO

(shouted) As if!

(tackle)

REPORTER

Oh, and Solis has just tackled Mosaic to the ground!

JUDE

(panting) You could be good! You could be a hero!

APOLLO

I think I’m a little past that, Solis.

JUDE

I don’t! I think you have potential. You want the best for this city, you just go about it in the wrong way.

APOLLO

(lying) Oh shit, that reporter got hit by a stray shard!

JUDE

Fuck, really?

(Solis gets off of Mosaic)

REPORTER

This just in, I have not been hit by any stray shards, and Mosaic is now running away!

APOLLO

See ya, sucker!

REPORTER

I am now being whisked away from the scene of the crime by the authorities, Solis is chasing after Mosaic again… DCA, wow, hi! Do you have time to answer a few questions about the Paragons?

VAL

Not really, no. Can we put up some police tape over here?

REPORTER

What is it like being the leader of the Paragons, and what does DCA stand for?

VAL

If the public has forgotten, that’s probably for the best. (shouted) Solis! Give it up, he’s gone. Let the authorities deal with cleanup, we have that event to get to.

REPORTER

Ah, yes! Governor Pierce is running for re-election in a few months, and he has asked the Paragons to be his protection during a Q&A today! I’m actually on the way to that event as well, DCA, can I ride with you? I just have a few questions-

VAL

That’s so sweet of you to offer, but no. Solis, come on!

REPORTER

Ope, okay, and DCA has now transformed into a giant armadillo which Solis is climbing onto! Aaand they are moving away. Cut the camera, we’ll be back at the event.

(people murmuring, big footsteps)

JUDE

I know what you’re gonna say.

(silence)

JUDE

That I let him get away again.

(armadillo sounds)

JUDE

But he’s just so slippery!

(silence)

JUDE

Oh, don’t be like that. He’s my archnemesis! He’s practically supposed to get away.

(silence)

JUDE

I think I know you well enough to understand what you want to say. “Jude, I forgive you, and there will be no consequences for this failure.”

(angry armadillo sounds)

JUDE

Eh. It was worth a shot.

(Jude climbs off DCA, DCA transforms back into a human)

VAL

It really wasn’t. But we don’t have time for that right now. Are you ready to go on stage?

JUDE

I wasn’t supposed to come up with a speech, was I?

VAL

No, that’s Estee’s problem. (pause) Alright. Lights, camera, action. Here we go.

(they walk on stage, the crowd goes wild)

ESTEE

Solis, DCA! And of course you all know me—Double Trouble—and the beloved Sentinel!

RANDOM CITIZEN

I love you, Sentinel!

PATRICK

That’s so nice of you!

RANDOM CITIZEN

Do you love me too!?!?

PATRICK

Haha! No! 😁 But I do love… this barricade!

(crowd goes up in cheers)

REPORTER

Sentinel has just put up one of his classic barricades, bright yellow in color and sturdy enough to withstand even the greatest of hits. Aaaand he is now peeking up over top of it, and waving sheepishly at the crowd. What a sweetheart.

ESTEE

Thank you for that display, Sentinel. Now, if you could dispel that barricade, please-

(barricade dispel noise)

ESTEE

Thank you. Citizens, we are here on this fine day to host Houridge’s own Governor Eugene Pierce!

(half-hearted cheers)

GOV PIERCE

Thank you, thank you. What a beautiful crowd.

REPORTER

Governor Pierce is now signing t-shirts and throwing them out into the crowd. Hmm.

ESTEE

But before we get into the Q&A, I’d like to thank you, the hard-working citizens of this city, for your patience and strength as we do our best to hold back the schemes of the Vindicators.

(crowd boos)

ESTEE

I know, I know. They are our worst enemies, and arguably the city’s biggest problem. But I would just like to stress that there is hope for everyone. This world is not a forgiving one, but we, as the people within it, can be! And- in fact! If any of the Vindicators wanted to repent and become Paragons, we would let them! That’s how committed we are to helping people. That’s how committed we are to helping all the citizens of Houridge.

VAL

Uh, hold on-

APOLLO

I repent.

(crowd murmurs, a few people scream as Mosaic walks up onto the stage)

REPORTER

Holy- Okay, the villain Mosaic has just walked onto the stage, the Paragons are taking battle stances-

ESTEE

Wait! Wait, we can’t fight over- Mosaic. Do you truly wish to repent and become a hero?

APOLLO

Yeah. I’m done with the villain thing. Put me in, coach.

VAL

No one is believing this, right?

ESTEE

(uncertainly) I- I believe him!

VAL

(exasperated) Jesus Christ. Sentinel?

PATRICK

What reason would Mosaic have to cross over to the side of good? This must be a trick!

APOLLO

It’s not. I’m just ready for a change, is all.

VAL

Solis, tell him to get off the damn stage.

JUDE

…Can I talk to you backstage for a moment, Mosaic? Temporary truce. Just to talk.

VAL

What- are you actually entertaining this!? No, I am putting my foot down-

JUDE

Just for a minute! We’ll be right back.

REPORTER

Ope, and Solis has just pulled Mosaic back behind the curtains and away from the cameras and microphones. Uh… The weather today is bright and sunny…

(sounds go muffled)

JUDE

Drop the bullshit. Why are you doing this?

APOLLO

Is it so hard to believe that I’ve had a change of heart?

JUDE

(unsure) Considering you were fighting me half an hour ago…

APOLLO

I’m serious, okay? I want to be a hero.

JUDE

… (deep breath) Okay. I want to help you, then. But if the others won’t believe you… DCA has final say over everything. I can only do so much, Mosaic.

APOLLO

…I think I might have an idea. You’ve been trying to convert me for years now.

JUDE

Yeah, but it’s never worked!

APOLLO

Yeah, yeah. My point is that there’s no reason for me to suddenly change, in their eyes, unless…

JUDE

Unless?

APOLLO

Hear me out.

JUDE

Oh no.

APOLLO

If you and I were dating, it would make sense that I was becoming a hero for your sake.

JUDE

What!?

APOLLO

It’s just an idea! You’ve always been so adamant about the idea that I could be a hero if I tried. And now I want to be. Unfortunately, unless I have a more obvious reason for wanting that, no one will believe me. But the idea of a villain falling for a hero, then switching sides just to make them happy, to preserve the relationship…

JUDE

Shit. It is a good idea.

APOLLO

I know. 😏

JUDE

…Dammit. I’m gonna be in so much trouble when DCA finds out I’ve been ‘dating’ a villain in secret.

APOLLO

But isn’t it worth it? To have your nemesis finally accept your offer of turning to the side of good?

JUDE

…Yeah. Dammit, yeah, it’s so worth it. I know you’ll be a great hero, Mosaic. Your stained glass powers could do so much good!

APOLLO

Yeah, yeah. So we have a deal?

JUDE

Let’s go back on stage.

(sounds no longer muffled)

REPORTER

Solis and Mosaic are coming back on stage, and they are- holding hands!?

VAL

(warningly) Solis…

JUDE

(clears throat) Paragons, citizens, we… have something to announce.

APOLLO

We’re dating.

(loud confused crowd noises)

VAL

No. No you’re not.

JUDE

😅 We super are, sorry.

VAL

Goddammit, Solis! How long has this been going on!?

JUDE

Um-

APOLLO

A couple weeks now. But Solis insisted that we couldn’t keep it up if I continued to be a villain. So… here I am. Willing to change.

ESTEE

Um… Wow! That’s amazing, Mosaic! What got you two together?

APOLLO

Oh, uh-

JUDE

I… tackled him. One day. And we… accidentally kissed.

APOLLO

Yes! And I tempted them into one innocent little date.

JUDE

And I said yes. I mean, have you seen that super suit?

(crowd murmurs in agreement)

REPORTER

Here to confirm, Mosaic looks very good in his villain-wear.

JUDE

And then… we realized we had more in common than we knew! Like, for example, Mosaic does want the best for Houridge. He just goes about changing things all wrong.

APOLLO

Sure. But now I’m willing to do it all right, if you’ll only allow me to try.

VAL

No, we’re not-

(crowd begins to murmur in anger)

REPORTER

It seems that DCA is now backtracking on the Paragons’ offer to support any Vindicator willing to change-

VAL

Goddammit, DT.

ESTEE

Heh. Sorry!

VAL

You… would be on probation, Mosaic. We wouldn’t trust you immediately.

APOLLO

Of course, I figured as much.

VAL

And your career is on the line here too, Solis. If he’s lying, it’s on you.

JUDE

He’s not lying. I know he’s not.

VAL

Then… well…

(crowd murmurs in excitement)

VAL

Welcome to the Paragons, Mosaic.